Hi Dudess and Veronica, It felt good not to be negative at all with her - and not to take on any of her negativity - it felt like I was free of it - at least for a day...
Tonight when I went to the men's group I talked about it some - and had an interesting realization as I talked about my interaction with my W - and my challenging her on not saying hi...it occurred to me that she felt it was aggressive because I had taken control away from her by bringing it up - and it probably felt like things used to feel to her - when I was in control (according to her) and so it's even more important for me to just offer her my kindness now. I want for her to take the journey she has to take - and I don't want to interfere with it at all...so I'm going to stick to the kindness on my part - showing her respect even when she doesn't show my respect - and offering her kindness even though she can't return it.
She is fading from my life - I know that much...I feel very certain of it...and, honestly, I feel like this person that she is/was/has become just has to do what she has to do - and that journey does not include me. If she comes out of it and wants to be with me then, we'll see...I can't say if I'll be interested in us by then one way or another...but I do know that I am ready to let her go completely now...it saddens me...but I accept that as reality. I just want her to be happy and healthy.
