You're not selfish at all, Jeff! You are a warm, caring, faithful man whose needs are not being met! Of course you feel hurt and anger and a bunch of other emotions too. That doesn't mean you don't love your W or want to save your M.
And I know exactly how you feel in not understanding how our spouses could sleep with somebody else, and throw away a marriage, for what they don't even know!!
Try to keep in mind that all you have to do is live each day as it comes and make it the best it can be, and follow my own path wherever my heart leads me. For now, I am standing for my M. And that feels right for me. But I make no promises for tomorrow.........I try not to think of doing this for the next several years as many on this board have done.
Take care!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd