Thank you all for your continued support. I really need to keep my head up. My pain...is for my children now.
FIB,
I want to caution you about something that happened to me. I had grown to a point where I could handle anything that my W could hand out. I was able to detach and not let her words or actions influence me. I was doing great.
Then came the moment where she did something that I wasn't ready for. She took an action that affected my daughter. All the strength and detachment crumbled when I sensed my daughter was being 'wronged'. What ensued was not pretty. Not that it was bad, but just a major setback on everything I stood for.
In retrospect what my daughter had to deal with wasn't that big of a deal, but it was the idea of a threat to her well being that flipped the emotional switches back on. What I learned from it was I may have been prepared for anything my W may have thrown at ME, but unprepared when it directly effected the kids. There were consequences to my actions, and I do wish I would have recognized the button being pushed, but wasn't prepared.
So as you journey on, just be alert to your emotions if something should affect your kids directly. Emotions signal that something needs to be addressed, that a boundary has been crossed. Catch them and evaluate them. See where the hurt is coming from and consider a RESPONSE instead of a REACTION.
Maybe you're already there, it just happened to blindside me when I thought I had it all together, and I wanted to warn you.
