I think I know what happens next. I've been reading "Passionate Marriage" (no that's not what happens next!). And I think that I have gotten to the point that the author call the "Crubicle". Where I am changing, and taking myself back. I think that soon I will be telling her what I am going to do. Not asking to to change, just telling her that I will not live like this and I am going to "xyz". I need to work on "xyz", but I think that refinancing to make S, or D, a possibility is part of it. While the rates are low I can do it and come out pretty well. If things do work out, then I could use the money to prepay a bunch and cut some years off, or something else useful, so it wouldn't be a disaster. But, it would be a step that needs to be taken, and it would force the issue, on my part. She can still choose what she wants, the point is what I do for me. If I say I won't live like this, then I have to back up my words, to keep my integrity for myself.
More later, maybe much later... who knows! The weather is supposed to be great this weekend, in the 70s during the day. I don't work tomorrow, S11 has a soccer tournament Saturday and Sunday. W works, other than Saturday. I don't know if she has her schedule yet, in some ways I don't really care!
