Listen to Puppy and get the book "Not Just Friends" as soon as you can. It will shed light on the situation. In the book it makes the point that once the "friendship" is something that has to be hidden from the spouse, its no longer only a friendship. If they are revealing intimate details about the M, turning towards their "friend" for the emotional support and advice once given by the spouse, it is no longer only a "friendship." If the primary partner has been replaced emotionally by the "friend", it is no longer only a "friendship." It is an EA that in all likelyhood could easily become a PA. Not trying to sound mean or harsh, but if its only a PA...then its usually just about sex. An EA is even worse because they start out as "friends" and the relationship progresses from there and its more about feelings and emotions than sex, which make it far more complicated and harder to navigate.
FWIW: I'm with Puppy. Expose and take away the "mystery" and the "fantasy" of keeping it a big secret. Also, get the book. It is a wealth of information.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
