you're right - of the many communications i have had with my W over the past 2 years - we're nearly at 2 years post bomb - with our 11 th wedding anniversary looming and just at 20 years since we got together...it was one of the most difficult things I have done - the email was pithy but underneath it, you're right, was a lot of emotion and anguish...I had hoped to be able to ride out presence of OM no matter what it took - but i realised last night how much that stance was affecting me - i have had to resort to sleeping tablets a few nights recently and that isn't good - and I also realised it was affecting my ability as a dad.
The email said it - there isn't anything i wouldn't do, but I need to find a way through this which preserves my self esteem and self respect.
I played badminton last night and won - again! But it was harder work than normal and although I normally love the game, I found that my heart wasn't really in it - something was affecting me - and that's what made me realise...this was something I had to do.
Normally, i would jump at the opportunity to see my W - you see I love her, care for her, fancy her, admire her - she gorgeous, beautiful, funny/witty, intelligent, a fabulous mum - but the choices she's making and the things she's doing at the moment are undermining that for me - I need to hold onto those positive feelings so i can continue to reinforce to H what a wonderful mum he has ...this is a self preservation action for me and H.
But now - there does seem to be some line drawn in my mind and hopefully I will sleep better.
thanks again - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
