good days and bad days

[mdoodles]

im sure most can relate - i have good days and bad days. lately i have been having good days - which means im not dwelling on things, im not thinking about ow, im not angry or bitter. i just go about my day happily, and when i speak to or see my h, im fine. im pleasant, im nice, im fun and i dont ask questions.

and then something will trigger me to think of ow, my wheels start spinning and im back to feeling bad in a sense. i start to think about valentines day (which is a saturday - will he be with me? will he split the day, will he lie and try to convince me he isnt with her anymore(which is what he usually tells me...)

i do the thought stopping, but sometimes it just doesnt help.

i try to get myself back to feeling good, but its hard. the severity of the situation is too much sometimes.

just felt like venting.