Don't know what to do- Please help

[limbo]

I wonder when these internal struggle we have will ever end?
I go around and around in my head everything that has happened, especially the most recent events, and wonder what really happened, what does it truly mean?!
Is my H still trying to make his mind up on some level..he is constantly giving me reassurance that he loves me and only wants me. But is it really true this time? Why can't he let her go? why has she been in our lives for as long as she has?
Why is it still the last thing on my mind when I go to bed at night, and still pretty much there when I get up?
I do love my H, but I just feel so low for so much of the time, and I worry that I wount come back from this one.
I have changed, and people around me have noticed that, I get angry, and have no patience, and in trying not to be like that I find myself pulling in, and not interacting like I used to.
I want to be in a better place, and I want to truly enjoy life again, without worries, without pain, and I wonder when will I be able to start to do that again.

I just need to get this off my chest, and I wanted to maybe get some feed back, I know its a ramble and I hope you can make some sense of it!

[limbo]

I wanted to take time to wish everyone here a very Merry Christmas, to all hopefully a better New Year!

I want to thank all my old and new friends here for getting me through yet one more year of ups and downs! With out you all I don't think I could have made it!

One of my New Years resolutions is to post more to others, and give back some of what has been given to me!!

A big hug to you all!

[limbo]

Hello All,

I thought I would check in, I don't post much anymore for fear H will read, I don't want to hurt or upset him.
Things have settled again, and seem to be going ok, as far as I know no further contact with ow.
I still worry though, the night seems to be when it comes to me these days...nightmares, and my brian refusing to shut off when I want to sleep.
I still feel that there is something else waiting around the corner, but I am learning to live with this feeling.

I try and post to others from time to time, but am not so good at that, but am trying!
I read alot trying to get direction from what others have written and it does help!

[saffie]

Limbo,

Have you got my email or are you on facebook? You fancy a private chat sometime?

[limbo]

Saffie!

I would love to do that, the only problem is that my email has my full name...do you have a better one?
I am on facebook also, again full name!

[saffie]

I'm the same - my email has my full name on and I am on FB with it. Are you a member of the DB Group on FB?

[limbo]

No I have never looked for one, but will do and see what I can find!

[Aud31]

Hi Limbo,

Just wanted to chime in on what you said:

I still worry though, the night seems to be when it comes to me these days...nightmares, and my brian refusing to shut off when I want to sleep.

I struggled with that for a long time too. Still do every once in awhile, but it's becoming less and less as time moves on. I'm nearly two years into piecing--not everything's perfect, but it's WAAAAY better--and I'd say I get hit with those feelings maybe once a month...you just have to tough through them, sometimes I talk myself through them like I would a panic attack. Good luck hon--keep checking in.

[limbo]

Thanks for the support!
I have said this many times, but its nice to know that I am not the only one out there!

Saffie I took a look at the FB DB, but didn't see anything that rang a bell, I don't want to join because I don't want family and friends to see I belong to the group. Alot of people don't know what happened, and I don't want questions at this stage!
so some clues would be nice if you could!

[saffie]

Limbo,

I am named after an angel - but I am the feminine version - the french would call HIM Gabriel.Female means adding an extra 'le' My surname is the opposite of left but it starts with a W. There is a underscore between my first and last name. I am 'hot' stuff so my email is according , (excluding the e on email) and as I am in the uk I am not a .com but rather a .uk.co. There is also an at sign between the surname and the hot bit.

I hope that helps!!!!!!!!