Dianes Roller Coaster Ride continued... lol

[Jayce]

Hi, Diane. Glad to hear he's not ignoring you, just not on line yet. Maybe he'll have some thoughts organized by then. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Back in the summer when I was getting rants and tantrums & accused of trying to change him 1000% etc. etc. etc. (and all you guys were getting my rants & frustration and - grief) we went to an auction of horse stuff. Today a horse stuff catalog came. H was paging thru it & saw an item he thought was a good idea. I said it went for X $$ cheaper at the auction. He asked me why I didn't bid on it or anything else. (I was helping run it) & I said I was worried about spending the $$. He said, "Why?, I've never objected to $$ you spend for horse stuff". I told him I was afraid of setting him off & didn't want to start an argument - (being passive-aggressive he might have brought it up on the way home, that night, days later or in front of someone) He had no idea that all that while I was trying not to cause him to flip out beacause I dreaded it when he did. Coming up in a family where loud arguments were the norm, I guess he doesn't realize how it sounds, altho he sure used the tantrum thing when he wanted something to go away.

He's still not talking about the things I've asked him, but once in awhile a little word or two peeks out. We haven't had any big yelling thing (knock on wood) for a few weeks. He doesn't seem depressed. I wonder how much of that has to do w/finding out he doesn't have cancer, or sleeping better, or getting a better fix on our relationship. We lost our dog Fri nite from an illness and he actually talked a lot about how he felt. Usually he'd say very little-didn't want to be caught crying, which he thinks is stupid for a man to do.

So it seems he's trying not to yell & cares about my feelings enough to tell me more about what's OK w/him, and ask me what I'd like - about everything except - sex. Its great not to have him always crabby and making heavy weather out of every little thing. As they say in sports, I want to take it to the next level. I'm hoping his being more talkative and a little more open about other feelings is a step toward talking about intimacy. We're deep into snuggling weather here, zero last nite & super cold next few days. Opportunity to spend time cuddling & I hope, talking a little bit more.

I hope your H starts opening up more than he has in the past. Guys don't get that we're not mind readers and they sure don't realize we don't think exactly the way they do so communication is a necessity for them, not just some frilly girly thing.
J