Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

Thanks for asking.
As it turns out, the family counseling isn't a "pick a day from these three"- it's "your 3 days are scheduled for Jan 20-22nd." I asked why the short notice (a weeks notice) and if we couldn't schedule it for a little further out and he said "We just fit families into the schedule as we can. You're scheduled for next week. If one or both of you can't make it, we understand because it is short notice."

I spoke with SS last night and he wasn't sure if it was really necessary for me (by myself) to be over there for 3 days-especially since I already have a very good understanding of things. He thought it would be VERY important for his Dad to go. But, he also said he knew it was short notice and that he might not be able to get the time off. (Thank goodness he sounded understanding about that.) He just wanted to be sure we at least made it for visiting day.

I sent H a text this morning that basically asked if he was positive that not going next week wouldn't end up being a missed opportunity; but that I understood the short notice thing and wouldn't bring it up again. And he wrote back and said that he didn't see it as a missed opportunity because they will be going to counseling later. Oh well; I have done as much as I can. I just sent a text back that said Okie doke.

So, we go this Sunday for visiting day and then SS and I will talk more about whether or not I should go to family counseling time. I don't want it to turn into a bashing session against my H and SS and I don't really have many unresolved relationship issues, so I am just not sure that it will accomplish what it is supposed to accomplish. They would truly be preaching to the choir.

H and I have had very little interaction since we saw each other last Friday. One IM convo, one short phone convo, one short TM exchange.

I have gnawed my nails down to nubs and my cuticles are trashed and bleeding. I feel exhausted most of the time, but then wake up with my heart beating out of my chest and my brain going a million miles per hour. I cry at the drop of a hat. (Well, I have always cried easily, but even worse right now.) I haven't been on the torch FOREVER. Yeah, I'm depressed. I am taking welbutrin and still I am depressed. I've gained weight since our trip to costa rica. I just want to crawl into a corner and disappear. (no, I am not thinking of hurting myself.)I am sort of thinking of going to the Doc to have my hormones checked...

Anyway, that's my story.