The only question I really have at this point is how I should be in my interactions with H once we tell the kids.
I hear all the time the argument of "being friends" or not being friends.
Part of me thinks that if I want to respect his desire to have space to sort himself out, I should just leave him alone entirely other than trading the kids back and forth and any living/financial concerns related to them.
I don't necessarily want to be 'cold' to him, however. But I also don't want to do anything that is considered pressure...For example I told him that if Nathan gets his orange belt tomorrow night I was wanting to take him out to celebrate after and invited H to come along. He said he would like that. Should I not have offered? I guess the 'separated but not divorced' thing is what I am trying to navigate.
I already stopped ever calling him JUST for the sake of calling, chatting, etc. I pretty much let him initiate all contact at this point. However when we DO hang out together, I do my best to do what I never used to do. Listen, affirm, try to understand what he is saying. I admitted to him in the car the other night that often when he (or anyone else for that matter) was talking in the past, I was often formulating my response instead of REALLY listening. He thanked me for admitting that.
So anyway now I am rambling I just want to make sure I walk the line of detached but not cold or bitchy...
