Yes I am dreading telling the kids but there is a small small part of me that will be relieved just because I feel like we are living a lie and continuing to feed their belief that we are "okay" and we are always going to be together. I hate hurting them so much but it is out of my hands at this point.
Ali I agree 100% about my reminding him how well we are getting along. That is why I dropped it the second I said it and changed the subject. And never brought it up again for the rest of the time he was there. I cannot do that again and I realize that, just wish I hadn't done it last night...
Actually it hit me today that I really need to just cut him out of my life. That sounds bad he will always be my children's father and I never wanted him to stop being my husband. But even though he says this is a separation and we may eventually reconcile I can hinge my life on that possibility. I need to just start living the 'single' life (I don't mean dating I will not do that until we get divorced if we do get divorced), running my household on my own, making my plans on my own, etc. That will be easier once he has his house up and running so he isn't over here as often.
On an unrelated note, I ran 5.25 miles last night. Yay me! Joined a fitness challenge for the next 100 days...
