Your H know their is something wrong with him. It's just that he can't put his finger on what it is. My MLC'er didn't care much about damage control, so your H might not either. They act like teens, so ask yourself this question. How many teenagers do you know who care about how other people think of them?
The more open and outgoing you are the more interested H will be. In his mind you're being blammed for all the wrong in his life. He maybe thinking thoughts like how his life would be more fun if you were less boring. Then when someone elses attention is focused on your H has to look towards himself.
I became tearful reading on your friend Jeff's thread in 'Divorced but not done'. His sadness is contagious. His realization that if these situations run on too long they are not usually resolved happily seemed horribly true. Somebody posted and reminded him {and me} that we are in control of our own happiness and peace. Usually, I know that and so do you. Shall we regroup?
Sorry I got folks down. The holidays were hard to handle but the holidays are past and the future awaits.
I will always have sorrow for the break up of my family, but I have so much going for me that the sorrow will be good - to remind me not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
Yes, when these things go on for a long time the odds of a happy ending go down. I try not to tell folks to give up; only to make assessments along the way to see if things are changing for the better or not. Life is too short to chase a dream, unless that dream can become reality some day. But unlike starting a business or something, we only have part control of that dream. A R take two; we can only do our part. Each one of us must make our own decision if and when to cut.
And happiness is the key. Are you happy? If not, how can you change that?
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You are very right Flicka that we are tired. Each time I get this tired I have to dig deeper just to stay even. How does that ever get me ahead? How do we get to the future and thrive when we are so busy surviving? Keep trodding....
Snow getting you down girl? Things run in cycles; frustration will pass. Will H ever change? I hope so. Many positives, but then he runs away again. I could never figure him out. Maybe the holidays had an affect on him too. Did he start training again?
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Better yet, I'll make him take all 5 of us women out for dinner! or even better than that he'll have to cook for us at HIS house! Shakin' in your boots Jeff?
Only five women? There is more than enough of me to go around.
And make sure some are single - I always get lucky when I serve my homemade lasagna
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hey girl, the snow didn't hit so bad here yesterday but we've got another blizzard watch for tomorrow's snow though. I shoveled the snow (only my spot and back to the street so I can get out) last night and it was only a dusting on it when I went out this morning. It's cold as sin here though! Brrr!
Fix, I think my H has always had some sense of the damage to his reputation. There are times I have thought it is a big part of what kept him from making the final leap when it was all fresh.
FG, sunny and subzero here today. I hope H cleared snow from the yard but if he didn't at least I have 4WD.
Hey Jeff, you didn't get me down - maybe more frazzled about how to get you mooooooving! I still want to know what you are doing different now in the new year. List please 1,2,3.....
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Each one of us must make our own decision if and when to cut.
And happiness is the key. Are you happy? If not, how can you change that?
Deciding to decide. I just went thru that exercise (again). I want change, but I don't want to force the decision. There is a very fine difference, so fine it is like frogs hair. I am getting change, little by little. Considering my H is a very proud and extremely stubborn man I think this is progress.
As for being happy, I've been saying I am about as happy as I can get in all the other departments of my life except for H. I think that is still true. Can I still improve? sure. I know that too many of my emotions still hinge on H's actions. I don't know how to stop that while we are in the same house while I still have the visual. The H department is better than it was but no where good enough yet. Will it ever be the fairy tale version again? not for a long time if ever. I don't know if I will ever trust again as naivly as I did. AND, as we know, I can't change him.
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Only five women? There is more than enough of me to go around.
And make sure some are single - I always get lucky when I serve my homemade lasagna
You've got a date the 3rd week of March buddy! We are all married though, you'll have to revise your version of lucky! BTW, we'll bring our own wine. Do you want that lasagna with or without horses? You could have a pony party for your daughter.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
The radio is not my friend today. Song after song triggers a special memory with H. It probably also has to do with H's nice call this morning, his voice was cheery and it sounded so good. Like the good old days.
Jeff, I didn't answer your question about H training. He has dabbled a little with a few of our own, much overdue too! Nothing has come in from the outside yet, but when it's 20 below people aren't thinking of getting their horse trained. I am putting feelers out and spreading the word and in another month or two I hope it will start paying.
H can still be very defensive if I ask him something simple. We have a heater he sometimes uses at night to stay warm on the couch. Last night I asked if he still used it and I could hear the tone in his voice was not good. I asked what he thought about putting the heater in the basement during this subzero cold streak to avert freezing water pipes. He agreed and gladly took the heater down. My take is he got defensive because he feels guilty for having to use it because he chooses to sleep on the couch. yes or no?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
You could have a pony party for your daughter. 