Time for me to change....scared as Hell! 2

[a new 2moro]

LWB and MWG(and Bill too) made some valid points....my .02 is you need your "fix" as bad as he needs his. you are maybe figuring out if you keep your mouth shut you will get your fix more often than if you berate him. Its a roller coaster ride you seem unable or unwilling to get off.

Alot of us think you try to convince your self you are detaching, by saying you did or didnt do something..like an addict convinces themselves they dont have an abuse problem with what ever. Sweets what you are doing is not detaching, it has yet to be real detachment in that you still "need" your fix.

when you try to go a few days, you are on the floor moaning in withdrawals of how he doesnt care etc, your M is over etc. When you get your fix you proclaim that you are detaching, doing things for yourself, and making plans. we would like to see you make some headway in this direction not triggered by contact with him.

Everyone here pretty much feels after almost 2 yrs you should be able to detach more than you are. Look at BND and YR, their M/R have worked out they did by detatching and getting their own "houses" in order.

Mine is on its way back to being to being a success story. (I let my H back too soon) but I will promise you this , he didnt turn his boat around until he saw real changes in me and that I had truely detached and was putting my life back together w/o him. We had been to court once as he filed for D. It hurt so bad and was the worst day of my life but i was going to move on. Was the door going to be open.....well if he was going to come all the way to FL to peek in ...Just maybe...or not. I hurt but step by step sometimes only up on my knees i was making progress.