Today is the worst day of my life. None of the pain that I've felt up until now compares to the pain I am feeling today. Last night about an hour after I went to bed I woke up to my W talking on the phone. I sat silently and listened as she was speaking to a man and setting up a date for this Friday. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It took me about 20 mins to confront her--in my mind I kept saying maybe it's not a man, maybe I'm wrong. I finally went down stairs and yelled into the phone that her husband was there, so she hung up. We absolutely had it out. I told her that I wanted her out of my life forever, and I got my mom on the phone as a witness because I knew that my W would not forgive me talking to her that way in front of my mom. I took our wedding picture off the wall, broke the glass and tore it up. I told her that she was officially dead to me. She sat there while I yelled at her for about 3 hours, until 3 am. She admitted that she was wrong for all she had done, but said she didn't know what to do about it anymore. I told her I wanted her to just act as if I was dead. Period. I feel a tremendous loss today. I know there's no going back from this, especially not after everything I said to her. I basically let 8 months of hurt and anger out all at once. It felt so good at the time, but now I feel regret. By the way, this is OM number 2 in the past 8 months. She said they were just going out for coffee, but I heard her conversation and she was flirting heavily and asking him personal questions about himself. She said it was a man she recently met and that he was calling her for a while so she finally decided to go out with him. I hate her today. And yet I still love her. I don't want her in my life. I want her to feel the pain of losing me. I am really hurting...
