I would be over-the-moon is my h wanted to reconcile but I think I understand your feelings.
You are in a good position knowing that you could live without her. You got to the point where you wanted her but did not need her. My only suggestion is try not to lose that. Holding on to that will help you and the m.
I don't have any experience with recon but I realize from reading other people's posts that it is a critical time.
Is the counsellor suggested by your w pro-marriage. I'm understanding from reading this board that that is important. You can always interview a c by phone before going for a session.
I think your idea of having fun with each other and saving the heavy R talks for counselling is a good one. When I allow myself to imagine a recon with my h, that is one of the things I think about. If you're successful, there will be lots of time to have those talks; creating good memories and positive connection are important now.
