I get that this is a big problem. Don't need to read all the posts and threads to understand or agree with you. I do. I was simply confused about saying the R was fine otherwise. Honestly, to me, that's like saying "except for when h hits me, we're fine" and acting as if that's ok. For the life of me, I don't know what ld's think the rest of us are supposed to do. No, I don't have a SSM in the sense that you do; but my h is gone A LOT so in a way yes I do. But the rejection I'd feel if he were here and saying "not tonight" night after night, would be worse. I know couples, a few, who have not ml in months or years, and then act truly surprised when the WAS walks...what were they thinking? I always wonder how long they thought their spouse would last...
So, I was confused as to what you are expecting from your w. Either she gets it, or she doesn't. THere's a thread with Likingmeagain, I think, that discusses the viewpoint of the LD person pretty well. She gets it now, but it took her h to be a WAS for her to realize...what a drag. You may want to read her, but she's in the infidelity forum for obvious reasons now. She's a good person who made a bad mistake and now, so has her h....
good luck j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
