WAW taking a step home?

[EnergyAZ]

Hi Energy,

From Sep until now did you initiate contact, did she, did you respomd? Any R talk. I went back and read your post. Your WAW sounds just like mine.

Thanks, and good luck!!!!!

When she 1st left, she couldnt leave me alone. She called me as often as she always did. Was constantly up my ass about what I was doing with my son during his time with me...naps, feeding, how much TV. I had to tell her to mellow out and to get used to life without keeping me under her intense critical magnifying glass.

Every time we spoke or saw each other, it was hostile. Or at least cold and indifferent. We would paint happy face for our son's sake if he was around, but that was it. It was not pleasant at all.

R talk, yes.....the blame game, big time. Not pretty.

Got so bad, we both realized that for the sake of our son, we needed to figure out a way to simply be civil with one another.

I had my son on Christmas eve, and since I had to work Christmas day she asked if she could come over to watch him open presents. Of course she could! It was awkward. Awkward is good, awkward was progress.

Due to daycare conflict, she found herself with a logistic need to stay at our house New Years Eve. (anniversary of the bomb). I brace for impact, but its not even awkward. Its OK. We are civil, but we work at it. Still, we both seem to be bracing for the enevitable conflict that never came.

From that point forward, we are civil - but on guard.

Then I decide it might be safe to bring up the topic of our pending D and how it was time to start getting those wheels rolling - spirals into a huge argument.

Few hours later, she is at the house with her heart on her sleeve.



I really cant explain it. Just stop being available. Stop letting her know you are sitting on a shelf for her and willing to do so forever. Maybe she will snap, maybe she wont. Its up to you to be OK with either outcome.