WAW taking a step home?

[EnergyAZ]

Hey guys

Thanks for taking the time to reply! It means alot, and as much as I hate to understand other people are in similar shoes, its also beneficial to realize we arent alone and our problems arent so unique (aka insurmountable) after all.


"If you want things to work out in the end, then encourage her but don't be too overzealous about it. That would probably scare her away and put too much expectations from you." - stuck808

Since Monday, we have both frequently peppered our optimistic comments with little disclaimers about realizing how delicate our current sitch is and have agreed to keep heavy R talk only with a counselor. We realize we have some pretty deep problems we need to iron out and that we have been unable to do that ourselves, so there has been effort to keep things fun and light.

The amazing thing is - she is driving. I cant believe what I am seeing, but I am certainly receptive!

But I am also very skeptical because this change was so abrupt. Monday morning we are arguing and she is constantly hanging up on me, Monday afternoon she is at the house being affectionate, seductive, playful, and tearfully sweet and remorseful which ultimately became some of the best time we have shared together in years!

We are both perplexed at how she seemed to turn around at the flick of a switch, in mid-argument no less.

It seems a tad irrational to me so I cant help but wonder if its just an illusion. Needless to say, I am very paranoid about doing/saying the wrong thing that bursts the bubble.




"I really can relate to your sitch. my wife told me she needed space and time." -notgivinup


She suggested the very same. And yes, her self centeredness was unbelievable! Total 'damn the consequences, its all about me' attitude.

And I also waited for this turn around. And waited. And waited. And got my hopes up, and got them torn down. Then waited some more.

Finally, I said "Forget it! I am a great man with a lot to offer a great woman and I am not getting any younger - its time to LIVE!"

And maybe (I think) on a subconcious level - she realized that I wasnt sitting on a shelf at her disposal any more - and the intensity of our argument over child custody drove that fact home - and maybe, just maybe - she felt afraid she was really going to lose me. And perhaps that feeling was completely unexpected considering she is the one who wants to leave in the first place? And maybe her life flashed before her eyes and she said "TIME OUT!"

And for the first time since the bomb dropped - I feel like I am in control of how my relationship will unfold. I can take it, or I can leave it and I know I will be happy either way.

cz946: if there is anything you could take from this, I would say be prepared to have conflicting feelings if your dream were to come true. I finally came to grips with the end of our relationship and felt optimistic and happy without her. Major progress! Now I am back to being an insecure wretch consumed with the state of my marriage. And I have to admit I feel a little irratated about that.