You sound pretty good and I think you are doing exactly what you feel led to do.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I understand what you are saying and I'm not telling you to date. I'm wondering about pursuit, having him assume you'll wait forever, etc. I mean, is that approach working well? You can have some mystery, do some 180's, GAL and never tell him a thing, AND not break your vows. But why oh why tell HIM you are waiting, which is, in effect, what you are doing? What 180's are you doing? GAL things? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I understand what you are saying and I'm not telling you to date. I'm wondering about pursuit, having him assume you'll wait forever, etc. I mean, is that approach working well? You can have some mystery, do some 180's, GAL and never tell him a thing, AND not break your vows. But why oh why tell HIM you are waiting, which is, in effect, what you are doing? What 180's are you doing? GAL things? j-
25, I don't see that as being pursuing. I said it once because I felt led to say it. It was the right thing for me to do. I am doing plenty of 180s and GAL things which I don't have time to post about. I do appreciate your concern. Thanks.
I guess, 25yearsmlc, that PH does have some mystery to her. Her h does not see her very often so how would he know what she is doing and with whom? How much more GAL or 180's could she do if she does not have regular contact with him?
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I hear you about how mysterious w can seem if she's out of the picture. I just think that the other possibility is that h assumes she is exactly the way she was when he left or rather, the way he portrays her to justify his actions. In order to counter those negative images used to rationalize, it's important to contrast them with her 180's. BUT I gather you are saying PH does not have a big choice in this as h is "gone" for now? If so, yes, options are limited at this point.
I'll try to find the original thread to know details. I have some trouble doing that on this site lately though. Only goes back maybe one page and then says "can't do another search now" etc. I digress. Anyhow, good luck, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Dear PH, I followed this thread up to your last post. How are you dear person? You have been such a positive and encouraging support to so many. Your heart is so kind and God has used your challenges and pain to help so many others. How can I do anything to help you right now?
Please know that I will specifically pray for you (and H) and that you sense His comfort and encouragement, as you have been a comfort to so many.
Take care, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
What I was saying is that her h is not around enough to notice changes. It is unfortunate, indeed. Pretty difficult to do anything other than what she has been doing. Hopefully, her h will wake up and realize what a mistake he is making.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Something nudged me to check the board today, and seeing your post showed me why.
Thank you so much for your kind kind words. They meant a great great deal to me.
I am hanging in there. God is good. Thank you sooo much for offering to help me now. At the moment, I don't feel that I can post much, BUT you will be hearing from me.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I really do need all your prayers.
