your post made me sad. I've read bits and pieces of what you've been through, but haven't gotten all of it so don't feel like I can comment (will anyway). But I'm sad for the pain you feel.
I think change is hard for men. Men resisting change is a complaint I've heard a lot from women. When it comes down to it, though, I don't think men really are that adamant about change. Just fears. Maybe it has to do with some sort of left-over evolutionary alpha-dog thing. I don't know. If you want a relationship, you have to compromise at the same time you find ways forward. If you can still do that with H, while being patient with who he is and who he'll never be, great. If that just isn't for you, then you should realistically address that.
Here's the kicker. I think my XW looked at me and said, I can't see being with him. He's complacent. He's boring. And I was because I didn't know what I was doing. I was lost. I'm still lost, but I've begun trying to recapture those dreams from 20 years ago. Funny enough, it was the expectations the XW subconsciously was weighing me down with that helped drive me into depression and lose touch with my dreams.
So, cut him slack if it's deserved. Otherwise, do what you need to do. But I'm sad that you've gone through what you've gone through and that you still face what you face.
Hey, I've never been to Greece. If I happen by, wanna meet for dinner? Need to go visit a friend in Istanbul and thought I'd make a trip of it.
lodo
PS - I'm enjoying my favorite petite syrah and am pouring you a glass!
