Time for me to change....scared as Hell! 2

[theotherhalf]

thank you so much for believing in me itsy. I do however understand everyones' 2x4's and doubts in me. I've proven them right so many times. I AM working every moment of every day and I will get to where I need to be.

I am not going to file for D. Not yet. I still don't want it. I still believe there is a better way. I still love my H very much. But that's not saying I won't be ready in a month or 3 or? I told my H in the very beginning of this and many many many times since that I will not file. He's the one that wants to end this so he needs to file. I promised till death do us part, I meant that. But I will also not live like this forever.