I am so impressed with your attitude and turnaround. I can not believe your husband’s persistant stubborness. I melt just if my wife gives me one tender kiss. It is likely he is still really angry and hurt, like Corri says (she’s good, listen to her ideas), although if it were me I wouldn’t be able to keep up that resentment defense/revenge for more than a day. If my wife were to come after me the way you are going after your wife I would be the happiest guy on the planet.
I tried to gently and lovingly tried to get my LD wife to read SSM but she almost left me just over the mere suggestion--I dropped it after that. You should leave the book around where he might be able to read it without being pressured, don’t force it on him if he really resists, he won’t be able to get anything from it. There is likely some pride involved here and a loss of trust. Now you have to put back 200% for the time that he struggled along in loneliness and pain. I’m not blaming here, I’m just explaining how it might be for him from a guy’s perspective. Everyone expects us to be tough and a rock wall withstanding the pounding of problems and frustrations but we really do have sensitive spots that get damaged and take a while (and lots of “medicine”--wink,wink) to heal. When you are aching for him to respond, to reach out to you with loving passion, to indulge in the desires of your heart, instead of being angry that you are finally giving him what he always wanted and now he doesn’t seem to care, rather remember that is a fraction of the frustration that he felt when you were running away from his approaches. He may just need some time.
I agree with Corri that absolutely you should keep initiating and enjoying sex. I know it is hard to get into it when your spouse seems to be just fulfilling the obligation but is not appreciative and enjoying it for the spiritual communion that sex is. You rediscovering your sexuality is amazing, a miracle really. Revel in your new sexiness and I can’t see how he wouldn’t come around.
Counselling would be a good idea, especially if a couple months go by of 200% giving on your part without much progress. I think you are doing the right thing, just keep your chin up and keep going after him.
