WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice IV

[25yearsmlc]

Amen to Faithful's comments. So what if your d17 was mad at you? So what? You are the parent, the MAN...take it in stride. Of course she's angry at you. She's pissed at her mom too. You both let her down. But instead of punishing her for saying how she felt (and proving that you are a vindictive jerk who only "walks with God" when people are nice to him) and selling the house...blah blah blah, show up for HER and be her dad. Ignore her comments. You can tell her, you're sorry for the things you said when you were upset with her mother and that you didn't mean for her to hear them and you won't do that again. Ask for HER HELP in keeping you on track so that you do not become an embittered old, alone, man. CHeck in on YOUR progress like say, "How am I doing" on the Temper front?" or something that feels okay to you. Maybe say, "okay, when I asked you to clean your room, did I sound less "drill sergeant" ish? And almost take it lightly like a little inside deal you have with her.

Keep her in school b/c that is what's best for HER. So what if she thinks she hates you? This is about HER welfare, not your popularity today. The truth will be revealed. As long as you treat the mother of your children with the respect that title deserves (in front of those children) then you'll be fine in the end. This job of parenting does not give bonuses or pay raises or promotions or applause like the job at work. (That's fast food for the starving ego). With fatherhood You make small, consistent, daily "deposits" and eventually you will reap the compounding rewards...this is also NOT a contest about who is right or wrong between you and your wife. If you love your wife, you want her to be happy too. Of course you'd PREFER it'd be with you and you believe it would be, but arguing that point is counter productive and makes you look petty and vindictive. As you sounded a few minutes ago.

The fact that your d17 wonders if you are "mad" at her is b/c she knows she hurt you. You can tell d21 the conversation was painful and leave it at that. Refer questions to d17, not you. But demonstrate forgiveness at all times. They are in more pain than you realize. They feel powerless. Don't make it hard for them to stumble and fall. Keep the road home paved and smooth for THEM too....

hope this helps. In a way, it's a great opportunity for you to demonstrate the new you.
(( j ))