WAW taking a step home?

[EnergyAZ]

So am I just supposed to be happy? I mean, I thought I would be...and of course a part of me is very happy!

But then, she has wanted to work things out before only to turn around and say "Never mind, I am out" and I start from square one trying to get over her.

This time, I cant help but be skeptical. Why is she picking now of all times to attempt a comeback? Did she have a bad date who made me look good? Has she simply realized that her decision makes life tough on her financially and she is giving up on her freedom in exchange for more security? Could she possibly be genuine? According to phone records, she was actively calling other men the day before she came for her now infamous visit so it doesnt seem like reconciling was on her mind the day before she cried her eyes out to me.

And yes, I can admit that I rather happily played along with her affections and sweetness - I am human after all and love her dearly, how could I resist her?

But with a little space & time, I feel like a class A sucker/doormat/pushover for accepting her. Its not a good feeling and makes me that much more upset at the situation.

A part of me just wants to move on with my new life. Her behavior since she moved out really turned me off of her. I dont want a 37 year old party girl who chases random men - sorry, not interested. Thats not the woman I fell for, I was shocked and disgusted with her.

In the same light, I loved no one like I have loved her. She was the absolute center of my universe and there was nothing I wouldnt do for her.

But she went well out of her way to convince me that I was the wrong person for her and that she did not love me, was not attracted to me, did not want to share her life with me, was a mistake to get married in the 1st place....

and it was a painful pill to swallow. but I swallowed it, and just barely started to truly be over it

and here she comes again......

WTF?

I mean - really - WTF?