Life in the Rough - Practice That Swing!

[1hope]

I know. My H got me 2 doz long stem red roses for V day last year. What I didn't know, was that he was already in the PA with the OW. F'd her a couple of times, but still bought me the flowers. Crazy, huh? I guess what I am trying to say is that it is all unimportant. I thought I had a good V day, but it actually sucked. I just didn't know it until months later.

So don't dread anything in advance. Embrace each day as you have it in your hands. Everything may change tomorrow anyway!

[Babygirl]

i understand that, H gave ow vday before me, and even when i found the reciepts lied. said he was helping a friend. whatever. it just makes me sick, it makes me nervous.

[1hope]

Came home last night to a surprise that rocked our boat. The OW's FIL was standing in my kitchen when I got home from work. He and my H were talking. He wanted to talk to us and look at the crash site. He was on his way to a meeting that all of the parents were having, to see what they can do to get the OM admitted for evaluation. Since OW won't cooperate, they are trying to find a way to work around her. They are all of the mindset that the crash was intentional, and that OM will hurt W and my H if he can.

Not a fun evening. H's guilt is back and he is in defense mode. Back to how unhappy our M is and trying to justify his actions. Said that he had the A because I was such a controlling b!tch. Consequenses now that are making us all revisit actions. Not fun.

I did not sleep well and don't feel so good this morning. Just going to stay home and try to get some rest. I need to keep everyone's emotional stuff away from me. I don't want to be a part of their drama. I want peace, calm and goodness in my life. I am going to focus on that.

[Babygirl]

hey namesake i am so sorry!!! that causes alot of ups and downs here too and the revisiting and H being a jerk. its sad they dont see THEM for thier part, its easier to blame us or justify. hope you got some rest, if you want to talk let me know when you wake up.
love you girlie.

[1hope]

Oh boy, H and I had the mother of all R talks this morning. Started by him, not me. It lasted hours. On and off, from one room of the house to another. H venting, then me. I learned more than I probably care to know about his A with the OW. What a wacked out b!tch she is. But then, I guess I already knew that. Normal and happily adjusted women aren't the ones that prey on married men.

I know that this is very healing for us. Some of the things that he told me were pretty painful, but knowing him, had to be said. Part of the reason that I married him after the end of my first M was because of his honesty with me. That part of him is now back in spades. Everything that he had bottled up while he was busy being the alien is now spilling out. It's like my real H was frozen inside himself and is now begining to thaw.

Just before lunchtime the insurance adjuster (OM & OW) showed up to look at the crash site. We have gotten lots more snow since then, so he was not able to see much. He came inside and asked to see the pics that I had taken of the wreck site. Second photo in he just said "oh yeah, he really came in pretty hard." He asked me to send him the shots, which I have done. Their vehicle was totaled. We now have to get estimates and they will send us a check for repair.

H had to leave to go plow, and I slept all afternoon. This emotional stuff is pretty tiring.

[Silent Chrleader]

Good Grief, Hope!! What a nightmare!!

And your H! Talk about reaping what you sew! The poor guy....I'm thinking he's getting a lot more than he bargained for!

Anyway, it's a good thing that he's being honest with you now. Remember that a lot of the anger that is pouring out under all the stress right now is really anger at himself. Try not to take it too personally and let it get to you.

Take care, and BE CAREFUL!!

[[[[[[[[[[BIG HUGS]]]]]]]]]]

[WCW]

Sending cyber safety vibes!
I keep wandering back to when you sent your letter to ow and then a few days later she landed in your front yard. Could ows H have seen the letter too and it sent him deeper off the deep end?

Idunno, but do be careful.

Thinking about it from your H's side, there are so many people from ows life that are circling your life now again that it would be best to tell you anything and everythinig before someone else provived damaging info. At least that's what I've always told my H, I would prefer to hear it from him.

Glad you got some rest on your day off.

[Babygirl]

morning namesake, brrrrrrr its cold here today. sorry yesterday was so emotional. least your H told you details, instead of ow, that makes it worse sometimes. yes its very tiring.
sending you love and safety my dear.

[1hope]

Thanks my friends. I appreciate your love and thoughts.

It was -13 here this morning. Before wind chill. As the sun came up it has gotten a bit warmer, and it seems to be too cold to snow, so that's good. All I can say is brrrrrrrr.

WCW, I have thought about that too, whether he saw my letter. My H said that OW is stupid enough that she would show it to him. IDK, there was nothing in it that he and I had not already talked about. I was very careful about that. It was more about my feelings about her, and me having closure with that. From what my H told me yesterday that the family has told him, it seems that OW's H has been in a steady decline since Christmas. All of the parents have tried to get him help, but OW continues to refuse.

Your viewpoint about him telling me anything and everything makes sense. He also told me that she had some nasty things to say about him after the crash, so he probably did assume it would be better that I hear those things from him and not round about from her. They still hurt though. And it was around this time last year, so that creates pain as well.

SC, I know that he is angry at himself, and angry at the OW.

There have been some words that comfort between the painful confessions. Like he said that he realizes that it was all fantasy, and that it was purely selfish and that he somehow thought I would never know about it. He also told me that things began to end when he told her that he didn't trust her. Shortly after that I found a voice mail message that she left him and the sh!t hit the fan.

We are being careful. I am so tired of the emotional drama that I really don't care what the OW's H does anymore. As long as it doesn't involve me or hurt my H.

There is a reason for all of God's rules. If anybody doesn't see that, they are nuts!

[Babygirl]

it was about that here too this morning with windchill, -15 in the big city, so colder out here.

I just want my namesake happy and SAFE. after your year you so deserve it. so sorry its this time this year, when it was this time last year, i know, this time last year H was there too. I love you sweetie. we will survive.