hoosier...I am sincerely SO happy for you to make this re-connection.
This was truly a blessing from God, because He knows you needed support from someone who can understand your dilemma....
BUT....He also knew you needed to feel like a WOMAN again, even if only by feeling that tiny tingle that happens when we are in the presence of someone we are attracted to!
Also, what you said about beginning to understand the power H felt at his reconnection with OW was a HUGE step for you....this shows so much growth and understanding on your part, which will be necessary for you in the long run to recover from this whole mess.
I know you are not saying that you fully understand H's horrible decision...but to even have a glimpse into his mind and how he could make that choice is going to help you immensely....this does not excuse anything he has done, however.
Please don't be afraid of what this new re-connection has to offer you. I know there will be the temptation to fantasize that it could turn romantic...that is totally NORMAL!!! Feel free to have those fantasies as quiet little moments to yourself, the same as eating some chocolate can do for you.
Just stay grounded, realize it is fantasy, and don't pursue anything with him, of course....but at the same time, realize that God WANTS you to feel like a woman again! Feeling like a woman who can be desired by an attractive man will help you heal and move through all of this....it is part of the process.
You have just turned a corner.
Please take a good look around it.
You might have just left the past behind for real, and begun on the journey toward your HAPPY future.
God knew this was coming, even though you could not have known. He didn't leave you stranded with no help.
I'm so happy for you!
And also...you can almost count on your H now getting some kind of "vibe" about this and maybe being nice to you for once. When you start thinking about someone else romantically (even if just in fantasy) they can somehow feel that you've "let go" of them, even just a little bit, and it makes them come around in curiosity like "what is going on? I had a pyschic vibe that she isn't pining away for me anymore....?" I'm not saying he will do or say anything romantic or want to reconcile....just saying that he will somehow "know" that you have a change in your life, you are more hopeful, you have something to be happy about for once....it will make him curious....and all this will happen on a subconscious level....
