may be his "one true love"?

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Whatever..

This caught my eye.. "I commented that he sounded tired and his voice was raspy, as if he might be getting a cold. In a somewhat unpleasant tone of voice he said something like "well, I wish I could say that it was because I was up all night having fun", or words to that effect."

Have you ever had any DB coaching? Mine, Jody helped me with this. I would often remark that my ex sounded tired, or low, or ask if he was ok.. and he would respond with something defensive, or closed off, or flippant "still taking these damn pills ha"..and I took that personally.. like you I thought, why is he like that with ME? I know him best, I am only showing concern...

Well, she explained that the depressed WAS doesnt like it. It reminds them that they are weak, vunerable, they dont want to be seen that way. Men dont like to be viewied as weak and struggling and so unless they ask YOU for help, they dont want to be prodded about it. She also said, that if you are depressed, but you drag yourself into work and begin to feel a bit brighter... as soon as someone says "hey, are you ok?" you are right back feeling depressed again and its unpleasant. WOman like it when people notice when they are down, men dont, gnerally.

SO.. dont take it personally! She said.. say to him, hey I'm sorry you feel low but I know you have the ability to overcome this, or something like that...say I believe you are going to get past this and you know whats best for you.. I cant remember her exact words, but its more, lift them up and boost their confidence than wallow in how crap they feel.

Also..yes its insensitiv, but all the WAS are like that.. they dont have the capacity to feel YOUR pain, or think about how this is affecting you.

I would advise just trying to work on feeling compassionate and forgiving towards him, I am sure he is suffering, is in hell, is depressed and never meant to hurt you. Whether you get back together or not, its better to be forgiving, IMHO.

Al xxx