......................................... Dear [W]: I just wanted to write you a note to let you know that over these last few months I have come to understand a lot more about why you don’t have much hope in the future of our marriage and also how I contributed to your discouragement. I know that I pulled away and shut myself off from you in the last year and that I didn’t offer you the kind of love that you needed. Sometimes when you would want to talk with me about your work, I would try to fix things for you, offer too many of my own solutions, rather than just listening and hearing what you wanted to say. I can see how my words made you feel like I doubted you, and I understand why you just didn’t want to be with that kind of a partner anymore. How could you possibly be in love with someone that made you doubt yourself in the ways I did? I know this is just one example of how I hurt you, but it just makes sense that you would eventually have to leave and move on with your life.
Though these last couple months have been painful in many ways, I am grateful for the opportunity they’ve given me to look at myself and the mistakes I’ve made, and to understand more of what I can do to improve myself. I prefer a life with you, and I wish I could have learned these things about myself without our separating, but I know that our separation was necessary for me to get to where I am – and for me to understand your feelings and why you had to leave. [W], all I want is for you to be happy and fulfilled and I realize that you could not achieve that with me with and the way that I was in our marriage.
Love, Carlos
............. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Warnings?
