Well, I think things are getting better for me personally. My H is in an EA with a woman he works with and dropped the bomb last October. He still says the EA doesn't have anything to do with me. He says he doesn't compare his relationship with her to his relationship with me.
Well, I think I'm getting better because this past weekend he accidentally sent me a text intended for her (friendly banter) and he received a text from her on Sunday night that I saw by accident that mentioned she didn't need a ride to work Monday morning, but she would bring the poptarts anyway. I asked him if they had been riding to work together and he said "sometimes".
A couple of months ago this information would have devastated me. Right now I'm a little miffed, but I hope in a couple of months, I won't even care whose poptarts he's eating.
Anyway, he's at a seminar on the West Coast with her right now. Not due back until late Saturday. And I'm not doing too bad. Its on my mind, but I don't feel too bad about it. I don't expect to hear from him at all and I won't communicate with him unless there's an emergency.
And I do think they are "just friends", but this is definitely an emotional affair for him by all definitions as he can't wait to see/communicate with her, she has taken my place as his friend, and he keeps all his communications and activities with her hidden from me unless I stumble across them. In my ideal world he would realize this.
And she knows it's wrong too. She and I used to go out to lunch and out to coffee. Then she just started turning down my lunch invitations. But, karma gets everyone in the end and I am just trying to have compassion for her because how unhappy must you be to screw around with a friend's marriage.
He seems to want for things to be better between the two of us. I am not guessing for what purpose (ie does he want to improve our situation, does he want things things to continue to be comfortable for the kids, does he not want to upset our lifestyle because he is getting an understanding that I'm GAL, does he just want to maintain that safety net?) Who knows whats going on in his head.
He's having his party and I'm not invited.
C believes that the only time he shows interest is when I pull away, so DB does work in that aspect.
Well, thanks for listening to me prattle on with my stream of conscientiousness.
Married - 19 years Noticed Problem - Aug 2008 THE Conversation - Oct 2008
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
