Thanks hope and TxMom for your reassuring words. You are both right.
MIL left yesterday and I will miss her. My kids miss her already and I know my H misses her. But I am afraid he will go back to his 'old' ways of thinking only of himself and his needs and putting his kids last again. While MIL was here, he was around all the time to be with the family. I saw that he valued family more. But now that she is gone, his values will change. Not that he was putting on an act per se, but he is hugely influenced by people around him and if she is around he will be more family oriented. So why do I want him back if his values change so easily to his peer group, right? That's a question I ask myself.
The more this goes on, the less respect I have for him. The more I think about the way that he behaves, not the way he treats me, but the way he conducts himself and his character, the less admiration I have for him. Am I falling out of love? This was a man who had wonderful qualities. But now this man behaves in the most selfish manner and I think to myself, why am I trying so hard to lure him back? To what end? What will I get in return? Would I like him now if I had met him today for the first time? Probably not.
{{{TxMom}}}, yes, you are absolutely right, I need to count my blessings that my MIL would even talk with me let alone share her deepest thoughts. I know she is keeping some things from me but mostly she is pretty open. Her concerns are what will happen to H, if his health will suffer, if he can ever feel real happiness again and if he can find enjoyment and bonding with the kids. I think she doesn't worry about me because I present myself as capable and confident. But also because I am her DIL, not her blood.
WE will see what happens in the next few weeks, if her visit had any long lasting effects.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
