Gary, I understand your fear. The M is going thru a transition, so things are unsettling.
You've renewed your commitment to the M, and this is new for the W. She doesn't know what to do with your presence.
A difficult thing to accept in the Piecing process, is that we ultimately don't have control over the decisions our spouses make. We can work hard at improving ourselves and the M, yet our spouse still may choose D or infidelity.
We have to work on our own happiness while we work on ourselves and the M. This means that ultimately our opinion on ourselves and our efforts matter more than what our spouses think or do.
I'm assuming your W's nights out are not negotiable. In fact, expressing concern about it shows fear, which is not a good thing for your W to see. It gives her too much power.
You seem to be doing good work, and have kept your M together. The affair has stopped, and now the M must heal. This will take time, and will be difficult. It will require patience, persistence, humor, listening, flexibility, communication, and goodwill.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
