Hi girls, Gypsy, I like these 4 principles. I am keeping those as guidelines. I can see how I can benefit from them.
SC, thanks for stopping by. I feel I can understand you better lately...
Ali,I havent yet aranged anything for a babysitter, I will talk to H -hopefully-today (still havent, it's almost 16:00 here) and try to make arrangements. I would obviously prefer to go alone with him and if that is not possible I wouldnt mind postponing our little trip to next weekend. We'll see what he says...
Intimacy, or any kind of connection, physical, emotional isnt there. Apart from everything else (the end result of al this), I am always struggling with the same things we all do here:loneliness, missing being held at nights, sweet words and acts, caring, feeling supported, admired, cherished etc etc. And that sucks big time. And I am reaching my limit, I think. Maybe I should start dating, afterall, I have nearly all my nights free... K
"Intimacy, or any kind of connection, physical, emotional isnt there."
I don't know that I would expect it to be there. At some point the WA.. has to turn this stuff off.. in order to walk away. There has to be something to turn it back on. Even if one person really wants it.. it is not usually enough to swing things into motion. This honestly should be the last thing you work on.
I am not sure recommending sex is a great idea.
I still am of the thought that somehow.. someway.. you are saying, doing, something that is rubbing him wrong. This is not a bad thing or is it meant to point the finger at you.. and your shortcomings.. if you have any. It is just one of those things you really need to look at.
"I am always struggling with the same things we all do here:loneliness, missing being held at nights, sweet words and acts, caring, feeling supported, admired, cherished etc etc. And that sucks big time. And I am reaching my limit, I think."
Then for sure what you are doing is not working.. we all get here.. married.. not married.. Divorced.. single.
I say step back.. but don't take it at what it means. You could step back by just doing.. "Maybe I should start dating, afterall, I have nearly all my nights free..."
Dating.. not 100% sure on but I don't see any issue with GAL a bit. Even if another man was involved. Don't know that I would do 1 on 1 but maybe group dating or something like that.
The general idea and thoughts I get from him and what he is thinking is he is scared of screwing this up. To the point it has him stuck in "fear". I "see" the actions all over the place.
I am not sure "fear" is the best word.. but it fits. I see you realizing this some when you say "he thinks I will never be pleased".
You know he is not a "action" person.. and he seems to "drag his feet". Kinda like a kid after they have been walking for a long time and they want you to carry them.. and you say "No.. you can walk." They fall down and moan and groan.. till you pick them up and carry them.. or.. you walk away and make them think you are gonna leave them.
You can't allow the situation you find yourself in.. drag you down. You have to make smart choices for you. IF you start getting sucked in.. stop and think. Not about the situation.. or what you can do to change it.. just think about you and what is best for you.
The trip seems OK.. if it happens it happens. Don't go expecting it to suck.. cause it will if you do that. He at the very least is trying.. even if he has it 100% wrong.
The example of the kid makes sense. And yes, I am also of the oppinion I am doing something wrong, what could it be? No clue...
My niece (5yrs old) asked me to take her away today, she suggested Paris, to live there (escaping from her parents LOL!!!). I said sure, we will learn French too, but only if S and D come with us. My son who heard me told me : mom, why go to Paris? We made a new start this year, the 3 of us, we overcame dad leaving us, we have a good life just the three of us, I feel better, maybe a litle bit sad sometimes, but you know what? I think I am going to be fine... I dont want to move.
What a kid!!! I couldnt believe what I was hearing. He is my little hero, my buddy. I am so proud of him. He will never have a porblem not sharing his emotions. And he got that from me. While my D cant do it easily (we know where she got that from, dont we?). Her LL though is physical touch, she will make one man very happy (or more)... K
The trip isnt gonna happen. He said "let's take the kids". When I replied the point would be to be alone since we just took a trip with the kids he agreed.I will suggest we do it next weekend...
Nothing else to report, no talks, nothing. Except a friend came over that thinks I am crazy to think this can be fixed because H is behaving like he always did, only that now I notice. She said, to her he sounds normal, she sees that now he is not enough for me anymore.
I tried to verbalise what i am hoping for. I am hoping he will step up and realise he needs to adjust a bit. She thinks that is wishful thinking... we'll see K
K - I wish I had some words for you but I'm at a total loss as to what to do. I can't imagine the pain you are going through as the couple of times we tried it (translate that to he threw me a bone with one foot out the door) I was a complete nervous wreck and couldn't be me at all.
You are so strong K and your honesty impresses me so much. Keep downloading your feelings here in this safe environment. When do you see your IC?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ali, the pic was perfect. My D has the Darth Vader's voice built-in, as you know... LOL!! xxxx I enjoyed our chatt enormously. Next time I will not talk too much... xxx K
mish, I am fine girlfriend. Dont worry. (Nothing a good, loving, sweet, caring, funny man cant fix...lol) I am becoming more selfish every day. Dont know if that's good or bad, but soon it will all be me me me me me, mine mine mine mine... K
