H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

Hi, Glam, thanks very much for checking on me and posting. I agree about the anger and forgiveness...for months, I have been at the place where I KNOW I can't get past them on my own, so I pray for help with those things constantly. I can be pretty stubborn about doing things myself, and not "bothering" God or anyone else for help, but I've given up on this one, because I've been living with these feelings for long enough that I can't see any way I can get past them without divine help. I just feel so stuck, in that respect.

You do sound good and you seem to be handling your sitch very well. You are doing so good. I am very impressed!

Really??! Wow, I hope I'm not being unintentionally misleading in what I write here (although I'm more "me" here on the boards than with even my closest RL friends, in some respects). I know I'm doing better than I was at the beginning of the whole nightmare, but I mostly attribute that to AD's! And I still see so many things about me that need improvement...<ahem> did I mention that I am really hard on myself? I have come to realize that *I* need more work before I am ready for H to see the light and straighten up and fly right. I sometimes wonder if God had H move out for just that reason. I dunno; I don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out God's motives. I just keep praying to be guided to God's perfect path for me, and the same for my H. And then I just try to follow what I think are God's instructions, even though they aren't always very clear to me. Fumbling towards holiness...that's me.

I spent a good bit of the day on the computer, mostly doing research related to my business. Checked out a lot of other calligraphers on one of the major wedding websites...I have to say that I wasn't terribly impressed with most of them. I only found two (out of at least 50 I checked out) whose work I could get a good look at, who actually do it by hand, and who have what I would consider decent skills. (And several have websites that are under construction [or are poorly set up, making it difficult to get the desired info], of which I am guilty myself, but am working on.) Of course, nearly all of these companies charge less than I do, and I'm probably about to raise my prices...but I really do think I'm worth it. And...I have been doing a lot of work with people on the coasts, and I'm quite cheap for those areas, but my expenses are less, being in the midwest. So that's kind of a win-win situation with clients in those more expensive locales.

Okay, I must go find some food. I haven't eaten yet today (well, technically, yesterday...it's 12:30 a.m. and I haven't eaten anything since before I went to bed last night). I know, I know, not the healthiest way to live...hey, if I had a chef fixing my meals for me, where all I had to do was sit down and eat them, I could probably manage a normal number and timing of meals! Gee, sounds like I need a wife! HA!!

Peace,
Dawn