You do know there are only 10 types of people in the world:
Those who read binary and those who dont.
Good one. I prefer base 16 (hexadecimal) myself. It will be so cool when the government starts issuing social security numbers as GUID's (ie. ED88EDAB-69D3-4637-B88B-CCFDA490E506). Then there will be enough issuable numbers to start taxing all of the people and creatures in the universe.
It might be time to wean her from your printer (and technical assistance). Printers are cheap now days. One thing I have learned in my business is that if you readily give assistance for something that the person can do on their own, they will keep coming back to you without trying it themselves.
As do I know this. She 'knows' how to print her cards and brochures, she just gets the 'flipping over' part wrong the first time.
One step at a time. I was more surprised about all the 'offers' to give the kids rides today.
Well, one thing that bothers me is the sudden "I'll be the taxi driver" actions today. There is NO reason for her to offer. I'm wondering if she is trying to weasel her way back into day to day life in the family again.
Jeff223 went through the same phases and I need to learn from him.
When many folks were telling me to lose the anger and bitterness, I am glad I did not. It is something you just have to go through. But there comes a point when the anger changes from just being angry to the anger emotion telling you to look within. Why am I angry?
Initially no matter how I responded it all came down to "she makes me angry, she did me wrong, I will never forgive her, bi!ch". But then it finally sinks in that "I make me angry" and that anger serves to tell you that something deep within yourself needs to be addressed.
I am glad you are angry and bitter at times b/c your words here point to the healing process that anger is causing. That is good.
As for your girls, sounds like they are on top of things. In fact, I would venture to say that they feel more secure that you are in fact angry at at the situation. Being angry shows that you love their mom and detest the situation. That sets the example for them of what a caring adult should feel and the importance of family. As long as the anger is focused on the situation, and not their mom as a person, I think that they will do fine. If you were indifferent they would question your feelings for mom - not good.
Quote:
Tonight D17.99 told me I was becoming bitter and depressed.
The red flag is the depression. That teaches us nothing but how to run away or self-medicate. Be angry instead.
My anger is finally passing. Maybe it was just getting through the holidays or maybe I just realized that being mad at her is serving no useful purpose. Anger does not fit in my terms as a man.
But to silence the little boy I am glad I let the anger phase run its course. It had to.
I have found that the anger eventually evolves into feelings of compassion for the mixed-up ex. It's a very slow process and takes an extremely long time. At least for me it is. And the process isn't without it's backsliding. I can be fine for a long time and then something jars my memory and I feel a rush of anger.
The good news is it happens less and less. Eventually, I believe I will only feel compassion whenever I remember anything about what happened.
Have a great day!
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
I do feel more compassion now towards my ex than I ever did while the divorce was unfolding. This was a person that we spent many years with, that we had a family with. Eventually the good person in each of us can't help but feel sadness for the mess that they have made of their lives.
And yes, the anger creeps back in still. But at least it's little things now, not things that set you way back like it used to be.
Most of all, moving forward and allowing life to happen, embracing what you have and wringing everything out of it you can...well, it brings healing.
And perspective.
I love my life. My boys are still here close to me. I have a wonderful new woman in my life who I love and who loves me. There is a plan for my future. I never would have thought, in the heat of the battle, that things would be even just ok again, let alone wonderful.
Time. And moving forward. And slowly but surely letting loose of how things USED to be.
That's the ticket.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Just remember, she filed for a D so I doubt she is trying to weasel her way back.
What I mean is weasel her way back to the 'status quo' where she gets to come in the house and hang with the girls like she was doing. Make it so I'm not mad at her so she can get back some of the 'benefits' she had.
Originally Posted By: Jeff223
But to silence the little boy I am glad I let the anger phase run its course. It had to.
That's it exactly Jeff. I knew you'd give me another clue. It is the 'little boy' who in my case was abandoned as a child.
Originally Posted By: spitfire23
The good news is it happens less and less. Eventually, I believe I will only feel compassion whenever I remember anything about what happened.
I'm sure I will also. I can see how messed up we both were.
Originally Posted By: Bworl
Time. And moving forward. And slowly but surely letting loose of how things USED to be.
That's the ticket.
How things used to be is what I need to 'let go' of. It was mostly good, but it was rarely 'great'.
That's it exactly Jeff. I knew you'd give me another clue. It is the 'little boy' who in my case was abandoned as a child.
More than that. That little boy grew up with you. He is there with you now.
Ever read the Christmas Carol frank?
Dickens said it all better than I (the spirit of Christmas present):
"Oh. Man! Look here"....
"They were a boy and a girl. Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish...
"Where youth should have filled their feaures out, and touched them with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled hand, like that of old age, had pinched, and twisted them , and pulled them into shreads.
But the Spirit went on to say...
"This boy is *IGNORANCE* and this girl is *WANT*... Beware them both but beware this BOY, for on his brow I see that written which is DOOM, unless the writing is erraced. DENY IT!!
