I am out of town this week and on a laptop, so forgive me please!!
In an email last week, he started out seeming like he wanted to work it out. Within three paragraphs, he did a complete turnaround basically stating there is no way.
I felt like you got me completely. I could have written your first post. Why? I ask myself this everyday. Because I was weak. Because I was tired of doing SO much - work all week, school for my master's degree on weekend, the kids, the dog, the yard, the bills, changing daycares because D4 was sick all the time, constant ear infections with D4 which was requiring about 1-2 days off every three weeks. My employer was getting aggravated because nothing was getting figured out. And when he'd call, you're exactly right. I said "nothing is wrong" because he was over there and they tell you not to tell them the bad stuff, to keep everything cheery and positive. he complained so much about how hard he had it, but i never did and he never tried to understand. and i felt like i had it ten times harder because i was taking care of everything else and everyone else and NO ONE was taking care of me. Hmm..guess that's an interesting bit of insight. and when other people were supposed to help out, they backed out. lesson learned is to just do it yourself and then there is no letdown. everyone else was taking their bits from me, and it felt like OM was the only one giving anything back. And all it was was recognition for everything I was doing.
I told Breakaway and I mean it. I will go to AlAnon next Tuesday. I worry about being recognized and talked about and somebody telling H that I was there.
I wish I could copy your post and put it into an email from him, but I know that's not right and probably wouldn't be productive. Thank you for posting.
I agree about the "owing" him something. I feel like I "owe" him to let the drinking go and the not trying to make anything better go.
Will sit down when I have time and look at everybody's stuff. I really appreciate everything ya'll have done for me to help me understand and figure out the next step.
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
