sandy, I hope you are reading still, H called earlier. He said if you cant find a babysitter, then we'll take the kids and maybe we should invite another family with us... So there goes the romantic weekend of 2... LOL
I appreciate what you are saying but you have to remember, when I post here I vent. I am nicer to him than I am here WITH him.
I am in a awkward position, I give him time and freedome to do as he pleases/feels like. What he does, it's his choice. When he does nothing, I get frustrated. I lead, he follows up to his level of comfort, refuses to step out his comfort zone, that hurts. I feel I am worth of him trying harder. I have expectations. Solid, clear, important ones. Sorry, I am not DBing to woo him back. I need things, I tell him what I need, I expect to see somekind of effort to give me these. I am selfish, probably. But I am fine with that. It is a choice. I am careful not to push him too much, lately I am careful with my face, I try to look sweeter and happier, but I am not bending about things I judge as important for me.
The letter was a suggestion he took because he writes better than he talks (he is a journalist). I suggested that because I knew that and the timing felt right. It wasnt an expectation. It was another suggestion to communicate since what we are doing isnt working. I am curious to know what he thinks because I have no idea. We NEVER talk. Do you realise that?
I am not waffling. I am still too detached and that comes across as waffling. There is still NO connection and it shows, I cant pretend there is. He even admitted it last time. He doesnt feel it either.
All this love and marriage and romantic second chance thing and hard work and togetherness are great. But when it's not happening, for whatever reasons, it's not happening. I am not going to fool myself it is, no use.
I HOPE it will, soon enough for me to be here and wait. xxx Thanks sandy, K
Btw, I send him a link to the 5 LL, TELLING him that mine are words and physical etc etc. I made a funny note like "hint hint"... That was 3 weeks ago. Nada...
Ohhh, and HE isnt interested in having sex with me... He "doesnt know why not"...
