New poster, random thoughts

[sandycay]

Hi new gal.

You can read my situation from the beginning. All thread links are on the first page of my last thread. I am in piecing.

I had a DB coach and my IC both told me to stop the "family" time. Even though I felt it was the only way to show him the new me and I was desperate to spend time with him ...it took me a few weeks but I finally did it. He needed to see what D looked like otherwise why were we living apart. He wasn't getting a chance to see it while he spent so much time over here. So, I revoked his key and changed the garage code. Now this was done with a kind heart and I explained that he had his privacy and I had a right to mine. I started making him spend time with the kids elswhere. I don't know if any of this helped but I can tell you that if I had let him disrespect me during all this how was he going to learn to respect me later.

Your H is going to have to admit his A. You and I and everyone else knows you don't have those kinds of friendships as adults.
My H even asked me while we were seperated if his parents could stay here on their visit. He was paying the mortg. but I said No. I called his mom and told her I could no longer spend family time with my H because it hurt and it really messed with my mind and I coudn't move forward doing that because it gave me false hope. She totally understood. I told they could spend a night or two here in order to spend time with me and the kids but H couldn't be involved. It was just to hurtful.

I don't know if all the little things I did to show him what being D looked like helped but I think he needed to realize it. Also, when I dropped the rope... I was ready.... I was sad but he wasn't turning toward me so I laid it on the line and it worked for me.


Best of Luck