I agree with V - you're doing an amazing job - I think it's just amazing how much of a PMA you've got - and I appreciate it so much that you share you positive energy with all of us.
Just checking on you, how are doing tonight? I hope you are out there GAL!
Carlos, thought I would let you know on NW's thread that I have been thinking about you, too and hope you are well in Vegas. Your thread is locked so I could not post this there.
Hi V and TG I am doing fine. I was with my S over the weekend and I had a blast as usual. W is looking for job since her contract will be up this month. Don't know what's going to happen....will see.
Carlos Are you there? Did you get lost in Vegas?
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Hi NW - I'm so happy that you had more time with your son...that's wonderful.
I never did go "all in" - but I did have a good time with my friends that were here. And yes, techguy, we did go to Tao one night - and it was excellent.
Throw some of those positive vibes my way, would you...
W actually IM me this morning early. I was surprised. She was telling me that she is trying to get on some online training courses for next 3 months, so our S will spend more time in MIL. I was supportive on her training because they can only help her. I also expressed my concern to her about the stability is really important for our S. I just told her we have to think what best for our S. I think she kind of took it the wrong way. She was saying she is doing the best she can. I just keep on validating and I told her I understand you are a tough position being a single mom and doing your best.
Few minutes later, she kind of dropped out of IM. I knew she was getting emotional. I was little worry so I called. She didn't answer but she called me back few minutes later, another surprise. We talked more about our S and we should put him back to school. We also agree she will meet me half way in AL, so I don't have to drive all the way down there. My S will stay with me throughout the Chinese New Year. I can't wait.
Here comes the backsliding. I am welcomed for all 2x4s. I asked her 'Do you think we are making a good decision here about the divorce?' She said she wondered sometimes. I told her at least we owe each other and S another chances. I kind of left it as that.
Then we talked about her sister got into an accident without insurance. Now she is without any car. The old NW will just judge right the way, probably saying something 'What's she thinking?'...something alone the line. Instead this time, I just said 'That's very unfortunate and hope she will be better soon.' This is something that I am working on daily, try not to be so judgmental and more compassion.
She is taking care of her family over there. I mean she is paying for everything for both her parents and some of her sister stuff. I told her this is very tough on her and you can only do so much. Bottom line is they are responsible for their own welfare and happiness just like us. Now I looked back what I said, I felt like I had became her advisory again. It is hard to suppress the fixer inside of me.
Overall the conversation was pretty good. We ended with a some jokes because our S just got up and he wanted a pop tart right the way. That boy is a eating machine....
I don't know the OM is still in the PIC, but I can only assume. Basically my plan is not changing, only focus on things I can control. Everything else, they are just not important at least for now.
Another long post...try to keep it shorter next time..LOL
Got to stay busy... The toilet seat is staying up....
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
I know we are often advised here not to instigate R talks, but I do not see any bad results for yur having done it.
No 2x4 from me. You asked a question and she gave, what seems to me, to be a fairly positive answer. Then, you left it alone.
As for being a fixer. I do not think anything you did was fixer behavior. You are entitled to an opinion on things. I think it was supportive to tell her she has a lot on her.
Terrific nres about seeing your son for the Chinese New Year. I am happy for you!
