I want something I cannot have. I can't accept that for reasons I can't get into. That frustrates me a great deal.
I don't want my ex back. I'm serious about that. I know myself too well and I know that I'm not capable of loving her the same way ever again after everything. I can forgive, but I'll never forget.
But that doesn't matter, because I am completely sure that she doesn't want me back either. She is involving Nick with my kids more and more. She is becoming more involved with his life and his family. And you know what?... She is happy. And I'm happy for her. She wasn't happy for a long time with me. I didn't see it or want to see it, but she is now a different person.
So am I. I'm a very different person. Funny how that works.
If and when I have a significant other than the conversation will need to occur and I feel that she will be fine with it. But until then it seems unnecessary. I don't think I'll be seeing anyone seriously for quite a long while.
