Left a light, short message on my H's work voice mail in response to his banal question of yesterday.
I guess I'm not going dark, but dim. It does feel better. Fewer thoughts of h, less anxiety, starting to feel freer along with letting go.
For those who read that I've given up, I haven't. I just need this time and space for me. Once I've healed more, I may db more actively. I understand the risk of nc - by the time I get to that point, he may have moved so far away or solidified things with ow that no dbing will make a difference.
But I have to do what is necessary for me to move forward at the moment as if he is never coming back. The ow situation is just too painful right now.
