Good morning all. As many of you know, I have posted about the beautiful lake that you can see from the 6th floor window of the court house.Ironically, it is now frozen.
As I walk up to the courthouse, I feel humiliated. This is not what I am about. It is not who I am. It seems like such a waste...of time...of money....of our lives.
My W paints me as a liar...an absentee husband..."vile and and disgusting"..someone that should spare her the "warm fuzzy greetings."
Yes Jack3B...I remember us on that weekend to San Diego, professing my love to her only weeks after learning of backseat OM.I DID try to save this. My history is open and clear here.There is no doubt that, as you say above, I need to further open my eyes.
Although slightly anxious, I am steelier now. It hurts less. I am getting into a great fathering 'groove' with my kids. As Tolle taught me in The New Earth, I am 'in the moment' when the kids talk to me. I did arts and crafts with D5 over the weekend. I made her an ice cream stick giraffe and a fuzzball caterpillar. We started playing Crazy Eights by the fireplace. A sign of my growth:
We were playing cards last night, the three of us, on D5's bead. STBXW comes in at exactly 9PM:
W: (demanding cold voice) Let's go, time for bed.
Me: We're almost done.Let's finish this hand kids then bedtime.
My STBXW STOOD OVER US...glaring while we only had minutes left to play. S8 won, broke into joy, and both kids jumped on me, laughing.
This isn't an instance of "undermining her as a parent". This is HER, now, crossing a boundary..time with my kids. No...she won't take those moments away from me.
Strength and honor. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
