Hey Rob, Whatever, Thanks so much for your understanding, I am glad I am not alone in being NOT over my ex yet! We have all been here a similiarly long time (Rob, this all started August 2007 for you too?). Sometimes I feel such a fool, a failure, or some kind of oddity to STILL not be over him after all this time. People in RL gave up long ago saying "move on".. they understand that my life has gone on, but my love for him didnt die.
Rob I try not to think of my heart has broken, perhaps that feels like an 'ending' in a funny way if I accept that it is? But your message hit home, as yes, its hard to recover from such devastating heartbreak.
I am so lucky that my two closest FF have both been through terrible losses, one had a very bad break up from an ex, which took her years to get over and the other lost her brother at 12, so they understand loss and pain, sadly for them! We were saying that it marks those that are real and capable of true compassion, from those that arent real and havent yet learnt their emotional lessons. But, did we really have to suffer to learn that? Seems so. I feel more real now, more myself than I ever have done. I feel 'purified' by this experience and there is no going back. I just wish I had got that second chance to love him, thats true, I think we could have had an amazing R.. something even better and more real than first time around.
I accept that my sitch isnt really in limbo anymore, as it was for most of last year..it feels different now, with NC and seeing him only twice. But..he still talks to friends about me, he has never mentioned our houses or splitting assets. He's still paying a credit card for me monthly, maybe he doesnt realise, but I'd be surprised. He hasnt really said 'goodbye' to me, but do men do that? Perhaps not.
