It's weird.. being at peace with myself is something I never imagined. I'm in a better place than I have been in decades even with all this going on. With my spouse's departure, I was reborn. I woke up. I view the date of my bomb as a birthday. It's the day I realized it IS my life, I AM responsible for my own happiness, I CAN grow and I WILL be a better person. If my spouse and I had reconciled, I thought of it as our new anniversary.
Alot of things have helped like sending blessings to my spouse. It lead to forgiveness. Ready2Change is an insightful guy. You should read some of his posts. I've done a lot of the stuff he recommends and have found they really help.
Radical Forgiveness.. If someone irritates you, instantly forgive them. You can do it silently. Keep doing it, you get tremendous results.
No expectations, no intentions.. Go in with no expectations, no intentions and you're freed from anxiety and worry. I repeat that mantra when I try something new, or say a tentative yes when I want to curl up in a ball and hide.
Face your fears.. Instead of staying scared, I address what frightens me. At first admitting what scared me was a big step. Now I can say "Face your fears" when I get all wobbly and actually start doing it.
Live the "Four Agreements".. the basis is on my signature line. It makes life easier.
Learn to flirt. Read books, practice practice practice.
Find a 'talk buddy' of the opposite sex you trust. Practice being open, practice saying and dealing with what you fear. Find balance in who you are and how you relate to others without your marriage. My greatest fear was losing my relationship with my husband. I compromised, swallowed emotions.. and opps.. look what happened.
Everything happens in little steps.
I'm in a better place more times than not. However, I still isolate, get lost in the computer, binge eat, have overwhelming clutter. I forgive myself and improve one step at a time. It's much easier to rip myself apart than it is to accept all of me. Baby steps. They work.
