*H said he considers this a separation, not divorce. He would like to take the time to sort himself out, go through counseling, think about who he really is b/c he has lost himself, etc etc. Take the time to work on himself and then re-evaluate us.
*He has no plans to file although we are going to separate our checking/banking and bill-paying. Because that is necessary in both our minds.
*H said that buying and renovating the house is a win-win situation for him and us. The payments for this 3 bedroom home will be $450/month. Way cheaper than renting any 3 bedroom apartments in our part of the world.
*H said that once it has new carpet and paint it would easily rent for more than the mortgage payment. He said if we got back together we could rent it out and make some money off it, rental homes are hard to find in our town especially nice affordable ones which this will be.
*H also said that if he renovates it like he imagines I may rather move in with him if we get back together because it may turn out nicer than our current house.
*H told me that he was wrong to blame me for him not going to grad school or vet school. That those were HIS decisions that HE made and he could have chosen different ones at the time.
*H told me that as he looks at the reality/non-reality of him being able to do 50/50 custody, he realizes that my NOT having a 7-5 job has allowed me so much time with the children that a lot of parents don't have. He said he has resented this a lot in the past but now he knows that the kids are lucky that I was able to be home with them as much as I have been and will be with my teaching job.
*He apologized for all the times I have tried to talk to him about our situation and/or ask questions and he hasn't answered me. He said anytime he didn't answer a question (like, can you promise to commit to me and not leave again, or, what is it that makes you uncomfortable when you are with me), it was b/c he either honestly didn't know the answer, or he was afraid the truth would hurt me. But now he sees that NOT answering me was hurting me as much as the truth b/c then I had to try to guess what was going on, which wasn't fair.
*When we finished talking I told him thanks for talking and he said thanks for listening and he was glad we talked.
