JazMom, I would love to hear what's happened with your situation. My H has been gone since 2004, living with OW. PA since 2003, EA a year earlier, maybe longer. He not asked for divorce, but has less and less contact with me. He won't see me in person. We were married 15 years when this started, now 20+, we have no children, so no reason for him to see me. I came to the board tonight, searching for anyone at all, who had been at it this long, and had any kind of favorable outcome. (favorable to me is getting back together).
Like you, I rarely come here any more, but please know that your posts are helpful to others. I'm hoping you are successful. My goal if I were in your shoes (I've had lots of time to think about it), would be go with the flow, hope H would come around and eventually find love with me again. I don't think my H would pursue me either. I have tried to imagine how it might be, or how I would feel. I have had a just 2 dreams(sleeping dreams), in which it has happens. In those dreams, I seem to know when he's come back, that OW is gone, and it will all be ok. And, in those dreams, I trust him again. In real life,first time around, we became friends, and then grew into more. I think it would have to happen that way again, esp after living separate lives for so long. I'm not sure if that helps you in your question. I hope so.
