Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[Hope4us]

Don't know. But everyone here keeps telling me ultimatum's are not the way to go and your comment sounds like one to me. And I see saying she needs to do x, y and z as pressure.

And the big question to me is, do I really want to be with someone that refuses to even try to understand what her actions have done to me? Do I want to be with someone who it takes an ultimatum to get them to do something? It just seems like she has taken no responsibility for any of this and continues to blame it all on me.

So what I've been struggling with is, Is this someone I want to be with. I mean, who doesn't understand how their spouse would have a problem with affair memomento's? Who, if they were really trying, wouldn't get rid of that stuff as a little show of understanding just what they've done to me?

I mean, she actually said to me, "Am I ashamed of what I've done? I guess somewhat, but I'm more ashamed that you told the kids". How does she not get that if she hadn't had the affair, the kids wouldn't have had to be told anything?