Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[Hope4us]

Thanks Ladies. I really do appreciate it more than you know.

But I HAVE told her what I need. MULTIPLE times. I HAVE told her I need to talk about this. I have specifically asked her THREE times to go to Retro with me. I've asked her to read books and specifically said the books I'm suggesting don't bash the wayward spouse, but show things from both sides and help both sides understand what their spouse is going through. If I hadn't have read those books and come to a couple sites like this one, I'd have been gone a long time ago. You guys are the only reason I'm not single right now.

So I guess the way I see it is, I HAVE told her what I need and she refuses to even meet me half way.

And the no relationship talks are her choice, not mine. I've clearly stated at least 3 times in the last 9 months that I NEED to discuss how/why this happened so she can let it go and I can feel safe that it won't happen again and every time she's said "if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't want to talk about it". I guess it just makes me feel like she doesn't want to let go of it and doesn't feel like our marriage and our kids are worth it. So isn't it easy to see why I'm building up this wall around me?

Does that sound like someone who comes even close to wanting to face what they've done and help the one person that's stood by them through EVERYTHING heal? And just so anyone newly reading knows, I've repeatedly taken my portion of responsibility for the things in our marriage my W has problems with. And I've spent over a year working on those things and I think I've made a ton of progress if I do say so myself. But should I be the one to continue to carry all the responsibility of recovering our marriage when my W can't even say "I want to try"?