Well, just a bit of journaling. Not much new on the H front. No contact from him since 12/21. I will contact him later this week, to talk about getting or keeping the D ball rolling. I'm done going down my cheese tunnel of trying to be friends or making this M work. The door will remain cracked open, but that's about all. Content I am with my decision.
I went out last night with 3 male friends. (2 of them are actually more acquaintances than 'friends'). It seems I have more male friends/ acquaintances than female. Strange how that is. We ended up doing some bar hopping - or maybe one should say bar stopping to try & find an ok place to hang out. I say bar stopping because 2 of the places were playing rap music & none of us are hip on rap, so we immediately left. One place even had rap kareoke - isn't that funny!! Friend 1 & 2 were more in a down complaining mood. Friend2 (MF2) was complaining so much it started to become funny. Friend3 & I hit it off like the last few times we met talking & joking around. Actually MF3 has been more of an acqaintance over the many years that I have known him. Slowly, it seems we are becoming friends. His D was final last week - so I offered my congrats & condolences. I always thought MF3 was handsome, so we will see if this acquaintance progresses any further into a friendship. Funny thing, but I was doing so well limiting my drinks (rum & coke), but then at the end of the night I had a fine Pabst. Oh, did that due me in. I woke up feeling like the living dead & not the walking living dead either!! The unfortunate thing is, is that MF1 called to see if I wanted to go get coffee with MF3. (MF3 crashed at MF1 house instead of driving home, 30 minutes away). Yes, as you can guess MF3 is a bit shy, but I was left with his phone#. Oh, kick, kick, kick myself for missing out on the coffee with MF3 because I was hungover & sickly!!! I did call MF3 later to apologize for not calling back sooner. I told him of my reasons & we chatted for a bit. It was nice & maybe that will break ice for him to call me sometime. We will see. It was very nice going out with all 3 of them, being social, chatting, joking around and getting some attention. Oh, I'm such a hermit.....
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Hey Michelle, Always nice to hear from you! Thanx for the compliments. Well, really my GAL needs some work, I'm a pretty solitary person. Suppose that should be my 180!
Detachtment does get easier as you go along, especially, when given little choice to do otherwise. On my DB road my guard has always been up, as to not to get to close to any men. Strange, how letting my guard down a bit and talking to a man that is attractive & I can connect & joke with gives me a warm happy feeling inside. Ah, maybe, it really isn't so strange, but rather something I haven't felt in a long time.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Hey Michelle & Julia, Thanks for telling me that having too much to drink & having a hang over is good GAL!!! LOL - BTW I'm being sarcarstic & joking (Can't believe I remembered that from last night).
Julia, Good to hear that the strange feelings I have are felt by others. It is nice just to hang out with someone, who is attractive, shows you some attention and there is no pressure, no expectations on either side. He did compliment me & said I looked nice. That was after I said I got ready in 15minutes (which I did) because they were all waiting for me at the bar. So much, when we were walking in the cold I wanted to hold his hand or run up behind him & give him a hug .... but that is old reactions I have. I'm going to guess that MF3 had some of the same feelings, about getting some attention. We only made brief statements about our x & stbxh - but I bet he is still hurting from his M ending, he was M 10 years. But the night was not about that, but rather having fun & enjoying the company of friends.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Well, my thread isn't going to lock and I'm tired of this one (atleast the headline anyway). Not tired of the company on my thread. Thanks to all who have posted. My new thread is A New Decade ...... see you there ......
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
(Can't believe I remembered that from last night).