When do the tears go away ?

[still hopeful]

whitney,

I am confused, like so many here. I see one behavior through my own life filters and interpret its meaning as I do. I could be seeing reality in my sitch or I could be seeing only what I want to see. Everyone in my life has told me that I need to disengage. Everyone has told me that XW needs to 'feel' the reality of being divorced. I am petrified to the point of doing what I've done all along, and THAT behavior pattern was simply a precursor to my being divorced.

I have posted on my thread that XW told me ages ago that addicts are the most manipulative people in the world. Not sure if she IS an addict or if I simply don't want her to be one soooo bad that I fail to recognize that DENIAL is not just a river in Egypt. I know that it is best for all in my life for this situation to end sooner rather than later, regardless of the outcome. Phoenixdeux said it to me best:

Letting go doesn't mean it's over...it just means you quit pining away and start to look at her as your EX wife. I've been where you are. I'm remarried to her, so I know there is hope...but it was just being open to possibility of reconciliation, without actually expecting it, that was more helpful.

Continuing along the same path I have been on has certainly prolonged my situation, but I am unsure if that is good. Perhaps it was supposed to end long ago. I don't really think so, but perhaps.... I simply want closure to my sitch. I want to be done and move forward or explore the opportunity to reconcile and move forward. Either way, I want to move forward. For me. For my children. And yes, for her.

I posted a bunch of stuff on my thread. If you get a chance, pop over there and read it. More stuff about me and my sitch.

I'm not tired of hoping to reconcile. I am just frustrated at the lack of movement in my sitch; the lack of movement in my head; the lack of movement in her. Perhaps moving on MY part will spur movement in my sitch, my head and in her?! I hope to find out soon.

Thank for listening.

Tom